I stepped on a rock...

You know how some couples are really, really comfortable with each other?

In fact, they're so comfortable with each other that you find yourself thinking:

"Yeah, that's a little too comfortable."

See...

Growing up, even though I had two older brothers, there were some things that were never discussed at our house. 

One of those things was...

Um...

 Bathroom issues. 

And the word...

Well, it's a word that rhymes with the word 'part' and 'heart' and 'tart.' 

That word was never, ever spoken at our house.

In fact, there was no word that meant that word that was ever spoken at our house.

Not the word that rhymes with 'hoot' or even the word that rhymes with 'mass.'

You just didn't talk about it.

 Ever.

So, when Billy and I first started dating we were walking down a trail in the country when something happened.

The something was...

Well, I kind of...

Well, I did something that rhymes with the word 'moot.'

I mooted.

And it wasn't a little moot it was a big moot.

I mooted really loudly and mooted really noticeably. 

Billy immediately stopped in his tracks and looked at me.

The look was one of half shock and half laughter.

I was so embarrassed that I began to stammer and finally said:

"Er...I...I stepped on a rock."

I stepped on a rock?

I STEPPED ON A ROCK?

I don't know...

I just don't know.

I have no clue why that was the first excuse that came to my mind.

I mean...

To my knowledge there isn't a rock on the planet that makes the moot sound when you step on it.

Hmm...

Igneous?

Nope. No moot sound.

Metamorphic?

No. It doesn't pass mass when you step on it.

Sedimentary?

Nuh uh. No mart sound.

Who knows why I said it. 

Thirteen years later and I still don't say it. 

And the minions aren't allowed to say it either.

But the minions....

They think this story is hilarious.

Hey! Hey! Hey Mom! Tell us about the time you stepped on a rock!

Sure, minion. 

I live to please...just not to moot.