Happier Meals…

Happier Meals…

Billy and I have been entertaining the idea of getting a dog lately. Tossing around types and temperaments and asking ourselves whether we really need to bring another living thing into this house. For the love, isn’t seven humans, six fish and one hamster, enough? Stella just wants one SO bad. And dogs are supposed to be therapeutic, right?

Billy won’t let me get another Welsh Corgi – that’s what we had when we first got married. They are awesome dogs. Happy and clever but they shed a ton.

I like the miniature schnauzer. Doesn’t it look like it’s judging you? Like, it’s saying ‘I can NOT put up with your shenanigans, woman.’ I need it to keep me in line.
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Valentine’s Day saw us sitting in the McDonalds parking lot in Scottsboro, Alabama eating Happy Meals. We had a sitter but hadn’t gotten reservations anywhere so decided to travel up to Stevensville to watch the Varsity boys play in sub regionals for basketball. That may seem like a ridiculous thing for people that have a sitter to do but it gave us over two hours in the car alone without kids which was actually pretty fantastic.

Plus, I just knew that if we stayed in town we’d eat dinner and then send a thousand texts to the sitter asking ‘are the girls asleep yet?’ Then we’d promptly fall asleep watching Netflix until one of us woke the other up angrily for snoring too loud. It’s wild times around our house, I tell you. Wild times.

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Awww…look how handsome Billy is. We’ve also got the studious ‘Doug Madison’ photobomb in the background. He’s a teacher at the kid’s high school. That man is teaching AP Statistics and five sections of Calculus. Doesn’t that sounds absolutely mathrifically horrifying. My brain hurts just hearing those words.

What didn’t hurt my brain was winning. Unfortunately, we lost Monday in the next round.

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We celebrated Damien’s birthday at Casa Blanca Sunday night. Thirteen looks pretty good on him, doesn’t it?

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Speaking of shenanigans Gracie was loving all the singing that accompanied the waiters bringing out Damien’s birthday dessert.

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I’m not a huge Casa Blanca fan but I guess it’s better than Happy Meals in flipping Scottsboro.

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“You’re a grown up. Stop eating Happy Meals.”

I told y’all that dog was judgmental.

Nope She’s Just Naughty

Nope She’s Just Naughty

Alright…here’s the deal with Gracie’s behavior…I’m pretty sure it’s all my fault. See, the problem isn’t that I have no parenting backbone – the problem is that things that bother other people just don’t seem to bother me – and that’s a bit of a problem.

Here’s an example from this week: Mondays at Little Rosie’s are relatively uncrowded. Me and my bestie go there quite a bit – it’s one of Huntsville’s greatest breakfast spots. I like to throw words like ‘bestie’ into my blog to check and see if my teenagers are reading it – if they are, they’d totally bust me for using the word bestie.  This week while at Little Rosie’s I look down and realize Gracie is on the floor drawing in her notepad. Now instead of doing what normal parents do which would be to GET HER OFF THE FLOOR I just shrug and say ‘meh, she’s not bothering anyone.’

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Uh, hello, Paula your child is LAYING on the dad gum floor. Something eventually clicks and I think ‘oh yeah! No kids on the floor!’

I ended up pulling her out of school because her behavior had gotten so suspect. She wasn’t kicked out but I had come to dread the ‘Gracie did blah, blah, blah’ note that was accompanying picking her up. And more than that note I was dreading the drop off where she screamed and clung to me. So for my sanity I pulled her. Which means we spend all day every day together. Which is good because this little nugget is only three.

On the positive it gave me more time to do projects in the house.  Got these pictures hung up in the abnormally large space between the mirrors in our bathroom. I ordered them from the MixTiles app. It was really easy and I think they turned out well.

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“Hey there little gnome.”

As far as Gracie’s behavior goes, I guess, part of being a better parent is just paying attention to the stuff that other people care about – which is generally pretty terrible advice but works in this situation. We leave for Disney World in a month. Girlfriend needs to straighten up and fly right while we’re there!

Speaking of trips, I’ve got big plans for a nice long RV trip in the summer of 2018. We went to the RV Show this weekend. The kids are into it. Well, into it-ish.

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They were mostly into climbing all over the things.

This continued at Hank’s basketball party. I highly recommend having a party in a gym. IMG_2297

Hank and his best friend Brandon. You know how sometimes you hear parents say things like ‘my child just doesn’t have enough self confidence.’ Yeah, that’s something we will never have to say about these two. They have plenty of confidence. Like, probably too much.

Oooh! Ya know what else I recommend? Having a Dads Versus Sons Basketball Game because that business was pretty hilarious.

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Although, the basketball party brought us several more examples of Gracie Shenanigans. Other Parent: ‘Um, excuse me but did you know your daughter was climbing on the bleachers?’ Yes, yes I did.

She has a pretty significant language delay – when you combine that with her behavior issues I used to think she might be somewhere on the spectrum. Now I’m pretty convinced that she’s just naughty.

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We’re all a work in progress, right?

A cute, cuddly, smooshy, bundle of love and tantrums work in progress.

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The Stupidity of Cows…

The Stupidity of Cows…

I used to be absolutely flummoxed by the concept of cattle guards. For those of you that don’t know,  cattle guards are rods in the ground that keep cows from wandering out of their pens. Now how they accomplish that I really don’t know. It’s truly a quandary. How in the world can a few smooth metal bars in the ground keep them from getting out? Who first figured this out? How can they not work out how to cross over them?

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Wow, cows must be really stupid.

But then…well, then I watched the three year old become absolutely undone by the gutter grate in the alley behind our house. She got the stroller wheel stuck in it and refused to think of an alternate way of getting through the alley. I mean, how dare that gutter be there impeding her progress from pushing her stroller. Sure she could have walked one step to the side but no –  instead she chose to stand and yell at the grate for a concerning amount of time.

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Even more concerning than the length of time it took her to give up was her absolute belief that the grate was going to get up, apologize, and move aside for her.

Look, we may not be rocking the socks off the ‘things a three year old should be able to do’ list the CDC publishes but we’re doing the best we can here. Well, best-ish at least.

I did take her to story time at the library a couple days ago and isn’t that worth something? Good news is the mean librarian didn’t even yell at me this trip. This girl yelled at me for talking too much.

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She’s a big fan of telling me to ‘shh, shh, shh,’ Unfortunately Story Time didn’t result in her immediate ability to do all the things a three year year old should do but she had fun.

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I’m not even going to photoshop that pen mark off of her. It is what it is.

Kinda like cows ability to maneuver cattle guards.