The Dark Side of Key West

The Dark Side of Key West

You’re going to need to go on and start playing the Darth Vader/Evil Empire music from Star Wars in your head.

Waiting….Alright, is everyone doing it? I’d now like to present to you…

The Dark Side of Key West:

Key West Star Wars

And this…

Key West Storm Trooper

I have no idea who did this but clearly they are awesome.

Not so awesome? What passed for beaches in Key West.

See that brown icky stuff? It was on the beach at the hotel.

Beaches Key WestNow maybe it’s super important and teeming with life but quite frankly it was smelly. Not the kinda beach you want to lay on and sip mai tais.

The other beaches in Key West were no better. Very rocky. That’s because they’re really aren’t beaches naturally in Key West. It’s a great town with tons of history and a vibrant night life. It’s just not really a ‘lay on the beach’ type town.

Key West Beaches

So, if you want that these aren’t the beaches you are looking for. Just like these aren’t the droids you are looking for.

Key West Star Wars

 

Wonky

Wonky

Remember how I told you my feet were being total drama queens in Key West? Weellll, it didn’t get any better after Key West when Stella and I went to Disney World with my cousin Margaret and her daughter Princess Giggle Pants.

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Look at that expression on Stella’s face. Clearly she’s saying ‘Oh, great. Mom’s talking about her feet on the blog.’

Here’s what I mean by ‘my feet were being wonky.’

This, my friends, is called ‘Golfer’s vasculitis.’

Golfer's Vasculitis

Pretty gross, huh. They stayed like that the entire time we were in Disney. As Mike Wazowski would say ‘scary feet, scary feet!’

Oooh! Ya know what else is scary? The pool at the Boardwalk.

Pool at Disney's Boardwalk

Yep, that’s a gigantic clown you slide through.Talk about wonky!

Sure they look happy. That’s because they don’t know that clown danger lurks behind them.

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So what was worse? The pool or my vasculitis?

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You be the judge.

Take It Down a Notch

Take It Down a Notch

Alright, Besame Mucho. How about we take it down a notch?

Besame Mucho Key West

 “Shop here once and life will become a joy forever.”

Yeah, that definitely needs to be taken down a notch. I mean, it was a cool looking store but that may be a bit of an overstatement.

Speaking of things that needed to be taken down a notch…

Me in Key West after ONE drink.

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If you feel tipsy after one drink this probably isn’t the place for you. This is what happens when you have one drink a year.

Sloppy Joes Key West

Dr Pepper from here on out, people.

Dr Pepper is delicious. Now, I’m not saying ‘life will become a joy forever’ if you drink Dr Pepper but at least you won’t send texts to your best friends about broken pictures and embarrassment.