Light in June…

Yes, yes, yes…
I know everyone is way sick of hearing people complain about this crazy pants heat. 
Heck, even the lifeguards at the pool are complaining about the heat:
We actually went to the pool today. We are lucky enough to live directly behind the Jones Valley pool so quick trips are no big deal. 
Unfortunately this means that sometimes I don’t plan so well because I know I can just go right back home if I need something. Like today I managed to show up with no book to read and no swimsuit. 
Go figure. 
I borrowed an old magazine from the lifeguard and tried to find some shade as I watched the kids. When I sat down I saw this book sitting in a chair in front of me:
William Faulkner’s Light in August.

It took me back to the summer I had to read it and how much I loathed it and how I missed curfew the first week that school got out and had a cruddy curfew for the rest of the summer. And then I decided to blame Lindsay, my best friend from high school, for it because we were with her boyfriend. 

Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the lack of a swimsuit, or maybe it was just that I was relegated to an issue of Us Weekly that was two years old…Whatever it was kids, I snapped. 
At least in my head I snapped. 
I started getting very ranty. 
“Who is this poor kid that has to read that vile book on a 107 degree day? And why do schools still make kids read that business? It’s enough to make a kid hate reading. This is ridiculous! The library is full of great books for teenagers and they have to read that book! I ought to write a letter! William Faulkner, my foot! In fact, I blame the state of Mississippi! How dare they inflict that man’s writing on us. Great Southern writer…I don’t think so!

Oh, I went on and on and on.
Kinda like Mr Faulkner’s sentences…

I was so wrapped up in my hatred for Faulkner that I stomped up to the pool and asked the only other group of people dumb enough to be at the there today whose book it was.
This gentlemen admitted it was his. He looked too old for high school so I assumed it was a college assignment. 
I told him that I was going to blog about how ridiculous it is that teachers are still assigning this book and how I felt bad for him.
His réponse:
“I’m not in school. I just like Faulkner.”

Oh…Well…Um…
Don’t I feel sheepish. 
Wait! No, I don’t!
No way! No way does someone actually like Faulkner! I bet it’s like when reporters ask celebrities what book they are reading and they answer War and Peace but you know some Julia Quinn* book is  beside there bed. 
Blast it. I’m getting ranty again. 
It’s the heat. 
________________________________
No offense to Julia Quinn. I’ve read all of her books and give her props for terrific banter and character development. Pretty much the opposite of what I would give Faulkner.
Hand Margaret a Coke…

Hand Margaret a Coke…

Time Warp Trail.
If you don’t feel like clicking on the link The Time Warp Trail is just an activity we do at Cousin’s Camp where the kids follow a trail that leads them through a ‘time warp.’ On the trail they meet people dressed up as ancestors and others from the past. Native Americans, Great Grandparents, crazy Aunts and colorful locals are all the usual suspects on the trail.
This year I wasn’t sure who I wanted to be but I knew I wanted to hand out drinks. It was a million degrees on Sunday at camp and the kids were positively wilted.
I decided that bottled cokes would be fun to pass out.Why do bottled cokes taste so much better than regular cokes? Admit it, they do!

Since Coke was invented in the late 1800’s I looked up what else was invented then and found Corn Flakes.

So, Coke and Corn Flakes it was.
Here she is a couple years ago playing the part of my Grandmom.
She is in charge of setting up the route and telling us all where to be. It also involves a fair amount of arm twisting and a big dose of creativity as you have to help people figure out who they want to be and how they want to dress. She’s good at it.
I mean…
Just between you and me she was kinda bossy as a kid so it all makes sense.
Here we are as toddlers. She’s the one in the green:
Here! Take the flower. TAKE THE FLOWER!”

I was pretty bossy myself.
It’s nice to help Margaret out and entertain the kids and all but the real reason to do Time Warp Trail is this:
Fifteen minutes of pure, uninterrupted bliss as you wait for kids to come.
You just sit in your rocker, read your book, drink your icy cold coke and feel sorry for the poor schmoes that don’t realize what a sweet gig participating in the trail is!
Her mean dad only let her have a few sips of the coke.
As the kids arrived I told them my story:
The year was 1895 and I was excited because I had just come from town and had tried two new things called Coca Cola and Corn Flakes.
Now whether or not Coke and Corn Flakes had made it to Crane Hill, Alabama in 1895 is very questionable but you know kids…they’ll believe any old thing.
Also, it was actually frosted flakes. I didn’t want to waste money on corn flakes when frosted flakes are just so much better.
I then gave them their cokes. You would have thought I was handing out tickets to Six Flags.
Such was their delight at drinking bottled cokes.
Notice the red faces?
And the sweat?
I told you it was blistery hot.
Yes, cokes are bad and sugar and Tony Horton and all that but…
Come on. It was pretty cute.
I mean, obviously bribing children is bad. But, those kids loved my trail stop!

Just Give Them a Coke…

Time Warp Trail. 
If you don’t feel like clicking on the link The Time Warp Trail is just an activity we do at Cousin’s Camp where the kids follow a trail that leads them through a ‘time warp.’ On the trail they meet people dressed up as ancestors and others from the past. Native Americans, Great Grandparents, and colorful locals are all the usual suspects on the trail.
This year I wasn’t sure who I wanted to be but I knew I wanted to hand out drinks. It was a million degrees on Sunday at camp and the kids were positively wilted. 
I decided that bottled cokes would be fun to pass out. Since Coke was invented in the late 1800’s I looked up what else was invented then and found Corn Flakes. 
So, Coke and Corn Flakes it was. 
Here she is a couple years ago playing the part of my Grandmom.
She is in charge of setting up the route and telling us all where to be. 
I mean…
Just between you and me she was kinda bossy as a kid so it all makes sense.
Here we are as toddlers. She’s the one in the green:
Here! Take the flower. TAKE THE FLOWER!”

The real reason I do Time Warp Trail:
Fifteen minutes of pure, uninterrupted bliss as you wait for kids to come.
You just sit in a rocker, read your book, drink your icy cold coke and feel sorry for the poor schmoes that don’t realize what a sweet gig participating in the trail is!
Her mean dad only let her have a few sips of the coke. 
As the kids arrived I told them my story:
The year was 1895 and I was excited because I had just come from town and had tried two new things called Coca Cola and Corn Flakes. 
It was actually frosted flakes. I didn’t want to waste money on corn flakes when frosted flakes are just so much better.
I then gave them their cokes. You would have thought I was handing out tickets to Six Flags.
Such was their delight at drinking cokes.
Notice the red faces?

And the sweat?

I told you it was blistery hot. 

Yes, cokes are bad and sugar and Tony Horton and all that but…
Come on. It was pretty cute. 
I mean, obviously bribing children is bad. But, those kids loved my stop!