Well, I’m not sure how you’re doing in your neck of the woods but over here we’re just full of big wins. Ahem, for instance, last week during CHURCH – YES CHURCH, Hank slipped Damien this note:


“Shut up.” Nice. I’m sure that’s EXACTLY what the church admin thought people would be writing when they printed those out. Shockingly, lightning bolts didn’t fall from the sky.

We’re like the bad news bears of church. We sit in the very last row, Billy can’t sing because his voice has gotten wonky, three of us are as cynical as you could possibly be and, to top it all off,  we constantly have five hundred and four children with us – or, at least, it feels like we do. This is where the empty nesters all say ‘oh, you’re going to miss these days.‘ Y’all keep telling me that.

Hank got a phone for his birthday and it’s made him a little bit too big for his britches. I send politely worded ‘it’s time for bedtime’ texts and he sends me sarcastic gifs. Aw…he’s learning to be sarcastic – how lovely. Actually – that is a win. Hank is my straight A student that falls backwards into good grades but sometimes his comprehension is a little…uh…off.


On a side note he’s subsequently lost his phone privileges. We won’t go into it. Suffice it to say he no longer has a phone and won’t until at least next year.

I’ll tell you a legit way we are actually winning. Walking down by the creek a few days ago I passed Damien’s bike laying in the bushes. When I asked him about it he matter of factly said ‘yeah, the chain broke so I got mad and threw it down.’

Y’all, I’m okay with this answer. A year ago he would have fed me some line about how it wasn’t his fault and trolls appeared out of the forest and stole it or what not. I told him to go get it and he did. Win.


We got everyone off to school without too many frowny faces.  Two of the kids were even within dress code. Y’all, if we’re already having trouble with the dress code on the first day it’s shaping up to be a long year.


Even this little nugget of trouble is in school three days a week.


And, oh yeah, the guy I voted for actually won our Senate primary. So many wins.


What’s that you say? He has no chance of winning in the general election? Don’t stomp on my winning parade.

All I do is win, win, win…