Oligohydra what?

So when I was pregnant with my first child I developed oligohydrflibbertygibbet.

Alright, alright...

So it wasn't actually called that. 

I never can remember what it is actually called. 

Let me go google it. 

Done.

Lets start over shall we...

When I was pregnant with my first child I developed 'oligohydramnios'

It just means that my body didn't make enough amniotic fluid. 

Here I am 7 months pregnant in a little pre baby trip to NYC. 

"Hey Lady, How about a little less NYC and a little more amniotic fluid making"

In case you are wondering this is the trip that Billy got to be on the Dave Letterman show. 

That's another story though...back to the oligohydrwhoozy.

I was nine months pregnant and had only gained 11 pounds! I kept telling my OB that and he kept saying "Oh, everyone gains differently."

Well, of course three weeks away from delivery a nurse finally said 'You aren't gaining enough weight, lets do an ultrasound.'

Sure enough there was hardly any amniotic fluid in there. 

SO, I wasn't making enough amniotic fluid so when James was born he was very skinny. 

I mean crazy skinny. 

Ya know that moment when your child is born and you think "this is the cutest baby ever!"

Um, not so much. 

Those clothes he is wearing?

Every single one of them was a preemie size - they all swallowed him.

Poor little guy. We could see every one of his little ribs. 

And see that lump on his head that my Mom and I were strategically using a blanket to hide?

It didn't want to go away. 

Since there wasn't enough fluid in there he was basically getting vacuum sealed so that crazy place on his head happened. 

As he got older his forehead started to bulge out. 

And then...

We had to get him a helmet!

So first he has to deal with the oligohydraswishyswashy and then he has to get a little helmet to reshape his little head. 

The indignity of it all!

He was a trooper. 

But the thing was that when he was first born...

Billy just gushed all over him. 

He would say things like:

 "Isn't he so cute!"

"Don't you think he is the cutest newborn in the hospital!"

"Just look at how cute he is"

I guess that is just what Dads are supposed to do. 

And now?

He is stinkin' eight years old.

He has opinons and ideas. 

He got Valentines from girls this year that said things like "Dear James, You are really smart. Love Greta."

Oligohydraheiny....

Whatever. 

Dear Minion my first, You totally own me.