The Bammer Upstairs

The Bammer Upstairs

Last month our family opened our home to a two year old who was in foster care. A couple weeks later her  eleven year old brother and eight year old sister joined her. So…family of eight.

Y’all, it’s a lot of laundry.

large family laundry system

We took the classes that DHR makes you take. Got fingerprinted and background checked and finally got liscensed. It’s a long and thorough process – as it should be.

We learned about kids that lie and kids that wet the bed and kids that steal and kids that just want to go back to their parents – no matter what. I thought that they had covered every kind of situation that was out there. We quickly found out that they hadn’t.

What we didn’t learn…What DHR failed to teach us…What they didn’t even think to mention…

Is what to do when one of your foster children is…is…dare I even say it? A Bammer. Yep, I said it. That’s right kids, I now have an Alabama fan living in my house. In. My. House.

I wash Alabama t-shirts and fold Alabama sweatshirts and walk past a bedroom that now has an Alabama poster hanging in it. An Alabama poster! In my house!!!

Y’all! I can’t even about all this.

So…DHR clearly needs to update their teaching curriculum.

Bed wetting – there’s a book for that. Lying? I can google the heck out of that business. But a Bama fan? Oh man – where do I even start? Like, ‘RT’…you know, that phrase they say…is something I actually have to hear now.

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And don’t tell me ‘just tell him he’s an Auburn fan now’ or ‘you’ll change his mind.’ I mean, maybe he’ll eventually like Auburn but, good gravy, the kid has lost so much. If he wants to keep that part of himself I guess he can.

Even though y’all, it’s an Alabama poster hanging in my house!

He asked us if we would take him to a football game. People, there are limits. If he wanted to go see an inappropriate movie I wouldn’t take him – same thing, am I right? Uh huh…Sure.

Well, maybe Billy can take him – Although, if I recall correctly my last trip to Tuscaloosa was quite successful – Laura Lee and I went to the 2010 Iron Bowl. The one with Cam and Lutzie and all that business so maybe Tuscaloosa isn’t that bad.

And maybe folding these Alabama t-shirts isn’t that bad.

But still…what was DHR thinking?

 

High Heels and Sunglasses

High Heels and Sunglasses

Hey, guess what! The answer to the question ‘what do college girls wear’ is high heels and sunglasses. At least, that’s what my five year old thinks.

Tonight in Auburn we left the minions with one of our old sitters, a real college girl, and had date night in Auburn. So Stella got to spend a couple hours in the company of a teenager and came back telling us all about how she played dress up with REAL high heels and sunglasses.

Date night in Auburn is just the best. Every time we get to do it we spend the whole time telling each other how awesome it’s going to be when we are retired and running our free taxi and baked goods services here. Here’s our big plan: basically it’s gonna be ‘rent a grandma/grandpa’ without the rent part. Free!  He’ll drive the taxi and I’ll provide the baked goods. Need a place to stay? Grandmas! Need a home cooked meal? Grandmas! Need a lecture? We’ve totally got that! All we need is a catchy name!

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Accept rides and brownies from these strangers!

We went to Amsterdam Cafe. I know, I know, I love Amsterdam too.

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What’s not to like right? Of course, Van Gogh WAS an Auburn man.

Auburn Van Gogh

Back at our sitter’s apartment I geeked out over her Auburn art wall. How cute is all this?

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It’s all very Pinteresting.

Cute Auburn Art

People are so crafty.

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So so crafty.

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I’m totally inspired.

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I mean, not inspired enough to throw away my Rent a Grandma plans and become an artist but still inspired.

Stella is ready to move to Auburn right now.

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After all, all you need is high heels and sunglasses and they sell those at Target.

What are your big plans for retirement?

Chewacla Not Chewbaca

Chewacla Not Chewbaca

Chewacla State Park is just off of Exit 51 on Interstate 85 in Alabama. Don’t let me hear about you going to Auburn and not stopping by.

I stinking LOVE Chewacla. That’s Chewacla not Chewbaca – you gotta love those old Native American names. And, no, I can’t tell you what the word means because I googled it and nothing came up. Odd, huh.

I love Chewacla.

It’s beautiful. There’s a waterfall, a lake, a fantastic river to wade through, hiking AND biking trails, two playgrounds and no shortage of photo ops.

Chewacla Falls Auburn

They still have old school playground equipment that I’m pretty sure could send you to the ER.

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Hey, can we just call this my Christmas Card, say Merry Christmas and let all the addressing go by the way side?

IMG_5729So, Merry Christmas.

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I’m not sure whose face looks crazier here – mine or Stella’s. We both look a little maniacal.

Chewacla State Park

The trail down to the Falls was a little harder than I remembered. Glad I’ve been CrossFitting!

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The area around Chewacla is so wooded that I actually wouldn’t be too surprised to see Chewbaca hanging around. Ya know, that’s one thing Chewacla doesn’t have – a mythical monster. Auburn needs a mythical monster!

Let’s make this a thing: Sasquatch spotted at Chewacla. It could have happened. Let’s just say it happened.

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“Is that a Sasquatch I see?”

You heard it here first, people.