Tourist Traps

Tourist Traps

Y’all…There is something you should know about my husband. It’s about his affinity for..for…for tourist traps. It’s a fact, that this man will stop at every tourist trap within a twenty five mile radius when we are traveling. He adores them. Gold panning – done it. Car Museum – been there. If it has the name Ripley in it I can assure you Billy Claunch has bought the t-shirt.

.Suffice it to say when he went to pick Hank and Stella up from camp and I stayed home with the other kids nothing surprised me about getting these pictures.


Because, of course, he took them to the wax museum.


I mean…


Alright cowboy, step away from Mrs Bullock.

James, the fourteen year old, and I are too cynical for that kind of tomfoolery. Speaking of traps, though, that what I feel like I’m walking into when I argue with James. For example, here’s the kind of claptrap I have to endure from him on a daily basis.

Me, constantly telling him he can’t watch something.


I love his teenage ‘but Mom, what I watch doesn’t affect me’ argument. As if kids haven’t been using that one since the beginning of time. Look at him sitting on that boat…Homefry was probably composing a text to send me asking if he could watch more business I was going to say no to.


Nacho Libre knows what’s up.


Clearly he doesn’t approve of the TV shows James is trying to get approval for them either.


  1. Abby says:

    Someday, in the far away future you don’t really believe exists, he will say, “you know, Mom, you were really right about ” After you find a chair, sit down and get over feeling faint, you will feel a sweet, sweet sense of rightness. You are now validated as an official Good Mom by the offspring who scorned you so long. It will be quite a moment.

    And if he never does this to your face, I PROMISE you he will tell his friends “my Mom always said that, but I never believed her until now,” or he’ll tell his kids “Grandma use to tell me that and she was so right.”

    I see you shaking your head because the teenager in question is probably torturing you with arguments about something right this minute. But it will happen. If you’re really blessed, he will even say, as was once said to me: “You were right, and I guess I knew you were right back then, but I wasn’t ever going to admit it because you were so uncool.”

    Sadly, I’m still uncool in their eyes*, but then they haven’t made me a “GranAbby” yet. I think coolness is is bestowed when they desperately need a free babysitter.

    *how dare I give their friends advice about men! what do I know!

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