Neiman Marcus it Ain’t…

There are some gifts so unique, so timeless, so precious, that only one place is good enough to showcase them all.
That’s right:
This year’s fantasy gifts included among them:
A Yurt – $75, 000
A Private scotch tasting – $5,000
A trip to the International Flower Show – $450,000
A $10,000 day trip to a farm.
And these are really the least expensive ones.
Yes, here at our house we also enjoy the finer things. 
In fact, the boys two favorite gifts were so classy that they could have come straight out of the Neiman Marcus catalog. 
Favorite gift, the first:
A Whoopie Cushion

Favorite gift, the second:

Drinking straw eye glasses.

Is there anything classier than these two items?
I guess really the only thing classier is that I went back the day after Christmas to see if they had more.
Its just how we roll. 
I’m sure Neiman Marcus will be calling any minute now to ascertain my opinion on next year’s Fantasy items.
Yep…any minute now.

When the Wisdom Busts Out…

Last week I took the boys to the local Krispy Kreme for breakfast. 
After we went in and sat down I grabbed a USA Today and began to peruse it.
 The boys immediately went to the windows and watched the donuts slide down the assembly line and get flooded with icing.
Just admit it, you like to watch it too.  
After a few minutes the eight year old wandered over and and began to look at the paper with me. 
His eyes quickly found this:
“Outlook Bleak for a White Christmas”
He asked: 
So, we aren’t going to have snow on Christmas?
My poor boys. 
It poured snowed on us last Christmas and completely spoiled them.
The six year old heard this ‘no snow’ news and said:
What? Oh! I really wanted it to snow on Christmas day!”

At this point the eight year old said:
“It’s okay, Henry. It’ll still be Christmas.”
Good call, minion. 
When Henry walked away James looked at me and said:
“Its okay not to have snow because at least we don’t have to worry about this.”
And with that he pointed to another picture on the page:
A pie graph on the number of kids in foster care who are waiting to be adopted. 
It’s not often that wisdom busts out of him but it certainly did that morning. 
Empathy is a good thing. 
It makes me very happy to see him learn it. 

I’m Not Your Momma…

So, this is what I’m doing right now:
I’m a little late to the whole “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” party.*
The books are good, though. 
I’m not saying you should go out and buy them. I mean I wouldn’t recommend them because the content is pretty dang disturbing. And it’s pretty dang, um, ‘adult.’ 
So, don’t read it. I mean, I am, but you shouldn’t. 
It’s a ‘do as I say not as I do’ sort of situation. 
The heroine is kinda like heroin to me. 
She is very captivating. 
There is something that annoys the business out of me about the books. 
The protagonist is a gentleman named Michael and he has a relationship with a lady named Erica Berger. 
The catch is that Berger is married – just not to Michael. 
And apparently that is fine with Berger’s husband. 
Because, get this, their passion is such that it won’t be denied. 
His long term sexual passion was evidently so strong that it would be unreasonable to believe that mere convention could keep them apart.”

It was simply the soul’s inability to rein itself in.”

The soul’s inability to rein itself in?
Are you kidding me?
Heres the deal: 
You know who really has trouble reining themselves in?
Freaking toddlers.
You know who else has trouble reining themselves in?
Serial killers.
I mean, if you want to carry on with a married woman that’s your prerogative. 
I’m not your Momma.
Just don’t pass it off as ‘the soul’s inability to rein itself in.’
Because, I’m pretty sure it’s not ‘the soul’ that’s unable to rein itself in at that point. 
Aren’t I the opinionated one tonight?**
** My mom has opinions on me still wearing these pants.