Trains…not so much.

So I’m in New Orleans. 
Wait…let me start at the beginning. 
A while ago we decided to go to New Orleans.

Just a group of girls that mostly involves members of my Mama’s people.

As soon as we decided to go several members of our party said “lets take the train!”

I, being the wildly intelligent person I am, said “lets drive.”
“But no!” they all said. 
“It will be so fun!”
“Train! Train!”
I, being the wildly unintelligent person I am, said “alright, lets train”
So the closer we got to the trip the more I began to hear things two different types of things from people that had taken the train:

The first group, upon hearing we were taking the train, would shift their eyes, look down and say something along the lines of “Oh, we’ve done that before…”

Kinda like the face I get when I have to say “Bananas? I’ve tried those before”

Wait! Rabbit trail! Bananas. Seriously, gross! They are mushy and yellow and they taste like bananas. How can you eat those things! Oh, well…bygones.


The next group of people would say things like:

 “the train is really fun if you bring drinks!” 
“Oh we had so much fun! We had margaritas”
“Oh the drinking car is a blast!”
So at this point reader I need to tell you that I’m not really a drinker.

I mean, maybe once every 6 months of so I might have a glass of wine or some such. 

So the whole “well its really fun if you drink!” wasn’t really sounding promising to me.

 The check in process was pretty brutal.

You would have thought we were trying to get in to see the President with the amount of drug sniffing dogs and police at the station.

When we finally got on the train the first few hours were actually super fun.

We ate in the dining car.

We went to the social car with all the tables and played table topics.

And then we kind of noticed something…
People were beginning to divide up into two camps. 
I’ll call the first the ‘batten down the hatches’ crew. 
This group was beginning to cover themselves in blankets and built up walls around themselves. 
It wasn’t cold. 
It wasn’t nighttime. 
So, that was rather odd.
The other group of people were beginning to drink. 
And I don’t mean ‘have a glass of wine’ once every six months drink. 
Soon the social car was too loud to be in. 
So we moved.
And then our car was too loud to be in.
There was no where to go. 
And then this began to happen…
People began to set up miniature tailgates in the aisles of the train. 
This group in particular was actually pretty funny. 
The one on the right was a chiropractor and was very eager to ply his trade. 
He began to give free adjustments to anyone who walked by.
Then a mathematician joined the group and started leading them in solving complicated word problems.
At one point my cousin Mary Etta turned around and said “just kill me now.” 
It was incredibly surreal. 
I think the high point came when one of the guys randomly stood up and announced:
 “I think I’m gonna go on back a couple cars and make out with that girl from the bachlorette party some more”
So…my question is:
If you have to drink for an activity to be fun why do it?
It kinda reminds me of this Allman Brothers concert my best friend and I went to in high school.
I’m not sure how an event can be shocking and boring at the same time but it was.
So, anyway….the train. 
We rented a car for the way back…
Trains…its just not how we roll.

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